To Watch You Leaving

To Watch You Leaving . . .
is to know such pain, it's jagged edges tearing into my soul. As a stake from the garden tears into the warm, dark earth.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
knowing all the while that never again will I fit myself, warm with sleep, against your solid back. Nor hear your steady breathing. Or feel the beating of your heart.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
aware in every moment of every day that my dreams, my future; once tied with silken ribbons to yours, will never come to be.
And the mornings once so silent and hopeful, us gazing at the mountains and so gently awaiting forever - are now but small pieces of my past.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
your heart a tight fist of anger and your dry eyes betraying nothing of you.
I cry for both of us, my love, because you will not.
To Watch You Leaving . . .
is to know that I've lost my place on this earth. My station. My heart's home. That I will wander, forever a nomad. Alone and afraid. And in my troubled dreams watch you leave, again and again. For the balance of my days.

I Saw Him Again...

I saw him again…
This time he brushed past me…
Making me aware of what I had lost or gained…

I saw him again…
He couldn’t have looked better…
Making me feel worse and even bitterer…

I saw him again…
As if he didn’t recognize…
All the past meetings were just lies…

I saw him again…
Hoping he would utter a word…
And my pain would finally die…

I saw him again…
Making me remind of all the promises he had made…
Leaving them all behind was just his game…

I saw him again…
Promising myself to never think about him…
But am aware will be crying the night away…

Another Day....

Another day has gone
Leaving behind past memories
And yet more to come.
Seems like I’ve been living for ages
As if birds locked in cages
Clinging on to something that is not mine.
Hoping that for once
I will be free from my inner misery.
All seems like a dream
Which cannot be achieved
But still I am in a dilemma
As I lay down and think
What is mine and what is not mine
Strings of sequences
Go past my mind
Making me realize what is
The meaning of life.
Holding my tears back
I keep on visualizing
All things that were sweet
Racing against my heartbeat.
I still find it hard to believe
Those were the things of past
Which seemed so beautiful and chaste.
Not will I once more
Think about them again
Will leave them all behind
And walk into another day
Which is full of light
And dreams untouched
That is gentle and naïve.

Memories

As I cling on to the past
Hoping it would stay…
Trying not to shed a single tear
On the times that were gay…
I keep hearing your footsteps
Wishing you said dear please stay…

As I hold your memories in my heart
Tears fill in my stark eyes…
Telling me the reality
Giving meaning to my sighs…
Making it more difficult to move onAnd accept all the said lies…

Fear

I could feel the overflow of emotions in his heart
Making his heartbeats even more clear.
I longed for him to say something
Trying hard to read his eyes.
Not finding anything in them
As he gazed through me
As if I didn’t exist.
I closed my eyes hoping
He will be there when they’re open
But knowing well that some things weren’t possible.
Trying to race against time I fail to recall
Things were so pure and where did it all go wrong?
Now as I sit lonely amongst the crowd
The fear of deception still lurking in my heart
Feeling wont be possible for me to love again.
I again close my eyes to see what I cant
Hoping my thoughts to get clearer
But again fear of loosing my identity.
My soul cries from within
Ordering me to end this life
And enter a world where feelings are not a game.
I fight against my will
Thinking about God’s beautiful creation
But so torn is my belief as I go on to say
It is difficult for me to live this life in despair
Making it difficult for me to stay.

Jab Hum Chhote the...

Na dil me mael aur na chehre pe mukhote the
Kitni masoom thi zindagi jab hum chhote the
Sun le koi mere dil ki thodi si daastaan
Waqt kisi ke paas itna bhi aaj kahan
Sine se laga lete the daud kar sabhi
Pehle kabhi jab hum jab chhoti si baat pe rote the
Kitni masoom thi zindagi jab hum chhote the
Ab to pyar dekar bhi mohabbat nahi milti
Waqt to milta hai magar fursat nahi milti
Ek raatein hain ye jo neendo se naata hi tod chuke
Ek din the wo jab hum bade sukoon se sote the
Kitni masoom thi zindagi jab hum chhote the

Bas Yun Hi.....

Bandh lein haath pe seene pe saja le tumko
Jee mein ata hai ki taweez bana lein tumko
Phir roz tumhen sawaren tumhen baithkar dekhen
Kyun na angan me chameli sa laga le tumko
Jaise balon me koi phool chuna karta hai
Ghar ke guldan sa saja le tumko
Kya ajab khwahish uthti hai hamare dil mein
Pyar se bhi pyara bana le tumko
Is qadar tutkar tumpar pyar aata hai
Apni bahon me bharkar maar hi dalen tumko
Kabhi khwabon ki tarah aankh ke parde me raho
Kabhi khwahish ki tarah dil me bula le tumko
Hai tumhare liye kuch aisi ibadat dil mein
Apni hathon mein duaoon sa utha le tumko
Jaan dene ki ijaazat bhi nahi dete ho
Warna mar jaye abhi marker mana le tumko
Jis tarah raat ke seene me hai mehtaab ka noor
Apne tareek-makanon me saja le tumko
Ab to bas ek hi khwahish hai kisi mod par tum
Humko bikhre hue mil jao sambhalen tumko

TAMANNAO KI MANZIL, KHWABON KA RAASTA

Hai tamannao ki manzil dur kahi
Dur kahi kisi ne jalaya hai chirag.
Hum unke intezar me hai, wo hamare
Chahe wo bhi ki bat le hamare sang
Zindagi ka sath.

Anginat baar maine use dekha hai
Uski sanson ko uski sanson me ghulte dekha hai.
Uski har dhadkan me apna naam suna hai
Par wo khwab hai, hakikat nahi, ye bhi jana hai.

Chahu ke wo kabhi aise mile
Ki kabhi bichad hi na paye hum.
Is janam kya
Janamo-janamo tak ek ho jaye hum.
Par pana bhi chahu to kaise
Ki tum to zindagi ki narm rahon me
Sajaye ek khwab ho.
Par phir bhi tum hi hamari har
Dhadkan ki awaz ho.
Tum bin jeena mumkin nahi
Na tumhe pana mumkin.
Zindagi ki har dagar tumhe khoje
Kya pata raat ya din hai.
Suraj khilkar tumhare pyar ki garmi ko batata hai
Chand ka deedar tumhare hathon ki narmi ko jatata hai.
Ye sabkuch par tum nahi bas isi baat ka gam hai.
Sath tumhare khwab hai aur hum hi hum hai.

Tumse hi har apl khushi ka
Matlab kya tum bin zindagi ka.
Bahon me bhar le sadiyo se arzoo ye hamari
Kaise kahe tadapti hai chahat hamari.

Zindagi ko zindagi ka naam tumse hai
Mera har din har shyam tumse hai.
Tumne hi hame jeena sikhaya, hasna sikhaya
Ab tumhari judaai ne rona sikhaya.

Ji rahe hai phir bhi kyonki dil main hai aas
Tumhe dekh paye ye is dil ki pyaas.
Man ka bandhan kabhi tode na tuta hai
Kya kahe kaise hum, jabse sath tumhara chuta hai.

Phir bhi tamanna hai dil me
Tumhe ek din pa hi lenge hum.
Khwabon ke raste par
Tamannao ki manzil payenge hum.
Ji rahi hu isliye dil me pyar hai tera
Har shyam sath laye intezar tera.

Tere bina zindagi se kuch maanga hi nahi
Tum mil jao to rab se tamanna hi nahi.
Tumhe pane ki arzoo hi dil me
Tumhare bina tanhai hai mehfil me.
Tum mil jao to kya gam hai
Dil me tum ho, tum me hum hai.

Ankhen....

Yun chu jati hai unki nazar...
Jaise hazarin razon ko ho apne mein samete hue...
Kuch kehne ko bhi uthti to hain..
sagar me lehren lehrati hain..
agle pal hi tham jati hain...
Ye ankhen kuch ankahi baat keh jaati hain...
In ankhon mein jhalakti sacchai bhi..
Kisi dusri duniya ke ehsaas se ho sharmaii si..
Kyon kareeb na hote hue bhi...
Nazdeekiyon ka ehsaas jagati hain....
Ye ankhen kuch ankahi baat keh jaati hain...
Pal mein jhukti hai pal mein uthti hain...
Jaane kya is berang zindagi mein khojti hain....
Kabhi lagti hai pehchani si dusre pal mein hi anjaan...
Indradhanush ke rangon se saji...
Ye ankhen kuch ankahi baat keh jaati hain...

Faasle

Us lamhe wo jo hame chod kar gaye
Aisa laga ki milo dur ho gaye.
Dil se awaz nikli
aur hum ishq me kho gaye.
Pas the unke phir bhi the fasle
Har kadam par the unginat raste.
Ek rasta jo hamari thi manzil
Wo unke sath hi shuru aur unhi par thi khatm.
Par wo rasta bhatak gaye hum
Aur ho gaye unse milo dur hum.
Ab dil me unhi ka pyar hai
Aur unke liye dil bekarar hai.
Kash hum unse ikrar kar pate
To wo sath hamara kabhi na chod kar jate.

Unki ek hi nazar dil ko kar gai ghayal.
Ankhon me tha ek sapna
Sang ho unke sath ghar apna.
Kyon nahi kiya unse ikrar
Kehti hai mujhse meri payal ki jhanakr.
Ankhon me hai khwab unka
Dil bhi hai bekarar unka.
Ae mere humnafas itni chahat kyon dil me chupakar baithe ho
Tum ikrar kyon nahi kar pate ho.
Ek bar kaha to hota
To aj shayad ye fasla na hota.
Par ye khwab hai ya hakikat hai
Unke sivaye aur kaun bata sakta hai.

Humne bhi ki thi ek bhul
Ek mauka humse bhi gaya tha chuk.
Agar hum unse ikrar kar pate
Unhe apna prar dikha pate
To shayad na hote ye fasle.
Unse kehte hum ki dil hamara hai bekarar
Pare hai ankhon se jhalakta beshumar pyar.
Unhe dekhte hi jhuk jati hai nazar
Par hoton pe rehti hai ek mand si muskurahat.
Kyon tumhe hai hal-e-dil sunana
Kyon itna sunne ke bad bhi tumhe hai jana.

Vo pehli pyar bhari nazar jab uthi
Dil me thi chingariya phuti.
Jab kisi se ki ye baat
To sabne socha wo hai mazak.
Humne kabhi unhe sach na bataya
Par jab pyar had se guzra to sabke samne aaya.
Par jise tha batana
Usne kabhi na jana.

Khuda se karti hu dua
Ki wo bhi hamare pyar ko jane.
Hume bhi wo ek nazae pyar se dekhen
To unki chahat ko hum bhi pehchane.
Dil me hai likha naam unka
Ankhon me hai khwab unka.
Chahte hai ki wo bhi hamare karib aaye
Aur hamari dhadkan me shamil ho jaye.
Par ye takalluf wo na kare
Iski bajaye hume hi bulaye.
Bate hum nahi humari ankhen karengi
Aur hatho ki lakeeren phir se banengi.
Unki sanso me shamil hona chahte hai
Unki bahon me khona chahte hai.
Rahe na hosh me
Chupaye unhe mohabat ke aagosh me.
Hamari zindagi jab unhi ke liye khatm hogi
To unhe bhi hamari kadar mehsoos hogi.

Labon pe unka naam hai
Par dil me unka pyar
Aisa kuch hamara jeevan
Par door hai unka sath.
Ab jo hum unse door hue to socha kai baar
Kya hamare dil ne maan li hai har?
Hum ab bhi unka intezar kar rahe hai
Aur qayamat tak karenge
Chahe wo hamare ho na sakeHum unhi ke rahenge.